


Not My Life

by kingdomofmany



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-30
Updated: 2013-11-30
Packaged: 2018-01-03 01:11:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1063893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingdomofmany/pseuds/kingdomofmany
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when you remember a life that is not your own?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not My Life

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously, I do not own these characters. They are not mine. Btu anyway, I'm new to this so be kind.

I could feel myself waking up, but I was not quite ready to face the world. I wanted to hold on to the dream paradise my mind had built while I was sleeping. I wanted to stay wrapped up in my fantasy land just a little bit longer. My life wasn’t hard, I was actually incredibly lucky. I had a wonderful family, I was going to school to do what I loved, and I was always surrounded by people who I really cared about. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. But a girl could dream.  
I slowly opened my eyes to unfamiliar surroundings. I had fun last night but I think I would have remembered getting a motel room. Nobody else seemed to be there. I was expecting to wake up in my white walled, carpeted apartment room, but instead I woke up in some dingy motel room that appeared to have come straight out of a porn film. At least I was fully clothed. I got up and walked to the mirror. I was wearing unfamiliar flannel pajama pants and a green t-shirt. I didn’t own a green t-shirt. Where was I and who the hell did I get here with?  
I heard the key being inserted in the door and breathed a sigh of relief, as my questions were about to be answered. I was expecting one of my friends to walk in and explain, but I was met with two, very attractive, but unfamiliar, men.   
“Good to see someone finally woke up.” The shorter model type man stated.  
“We thought you were going to sleep all day.” The taller one said. They must have noticed the panic on my face because they suddenly looked very confused. “Is everything alright, you look a little… terrified.”   
“I…I… Who are you?” he was right on the nose. I was terrified. Oh god, this is how I was going to die. These men were probably serial killers who kidnapped women, had their way with them, and left them dead in motel room s in the middle of nowhere. The larger man said my name and put his hand on my shoulder. “Get away from me!”  
“Y/N, it’s okay. It’s just us. Sam and Dean. What’s going on?” Well at least I their names now.   
“I don’t know who you are; I don’t know how I got here. I don’t know what you want me to do. Please, I don’t want to die in this shitty motel room.”  
“Hey”, Sam approached, looking genuine. “You know us, we are your friends. We would never hurt you. Please just sit down so we can figure this out.”  
“I don’t want to sit down. I just want you to tell my why I’m here. I thought I fell asleep in my apartment and then I wake up here, in strange clothes, not even knowing where I am. I just want someone to tell me what the hell is going on.”  
“Just tell us what you remember.” Dead questioned me.  
“I went out with some friends last night. I got back pretty late, and fell asleep in my apartment. When I woke up I was here.”  
“And you have no idea who we are?”  
“No. I’ve never seen you two before in my life. Trust me, I would not have forgotten the two of you.” I was at least comforted in the knowledge that they did not want to hurt me. I was confused though, because they seemed to know me, but I had no idea who these men were. They walked over to the other side of the room to talk, but I could still hear every word they said.   
Dean began, “Do you think this could be a demon thing?”  
“I’m pretty sure if this was a demon thing, she would have tried to kill us by now. She doesn’t seem dangerous; she just seems like a completely different person.”  
“I just don’t know what changed. Everything was normal last night. We finished the hunt, grabbed some burgers, and crashed back here. There was nothing out of the ordinary.”  
“Do you think it could be the hunt? It was pretty straightforward, except for the angels, but I don’t know what they could have done to her.”  
“Maybe one of them did something to her while we were inside. God I would hate for anything to have happened to her. We should call Cas.”  
“Maybe he knows something about them that we do not. Can you give him a call on his cell? He may be human now, but he knows how they work.”  
“Alright. Sammy, just try to keep her calm, we don’t need her doing anything crazy right now.” Sam came over and sat on the bed, a safe distance away. My head was spinning, angels, demons; I was fairly convinced that these guys were insane. And I didn’t understand why they thought I had been with them. I felt like I was going to throw up. My heart was racing. I couldn’t breathe. Maybe this was all some terrible dream I would wake up from shortly. It just felt too real to be a dream though.   
“Y/N, I know this must be scary, but we will figure it out. Believe it or not, Dean and I are here for you, and we just want to help you.” I could only respond with silent sobs. It was strange because I trusted Sam. For whatever reason I knew I was safe with him, but it was wrong. I wasn’t supposed to be here. The Y/N they thought I was simply wasn’t who I really was. I just wanted my friends, my parents, my dog, hell I just wanted to go back. “Dean is figuring is talking to Cas right now, he will be able to help us.”  
“This isn’t real. This isn’t my life. You guys have it wrong. Angels? Demons? Those are just things we see on TV. You don’t know me. You don’t. I just want to go home.”  
“It’s hard to accept, but this is home. Angels and demons are real. We fight them every day. I don’t want you to be afraid. You are one of the strongest people I know.”  
“Don’t you think I would remember any of this? You have the wrong girl. You made a mistake.”  
“Listen, I don’t know what is going on in your head, but I know who you are. I’ve been with you every single day pretty much for the past five years. I was there when you lost everyone, and I was there when you kicked some serious ass-”  
“What do you mean lost everyone?”   
“You really don’t remember any of this? Please, just tell me what you know. Tell me everything. Hold on, I need to take this.” As Sam answered his phone, I thought about everything he had said. Lost everyone? I don’t remember losing a single person. I was confused, my head hurt, and I was scared. Not of getting hurt, but of myself. Was I going insane? “So Dean couldn’t really get any help from Cas but Garth may have some information for us. He’s meeting him about an hour away so we have some time to just talk. I get how you must feel, scared, alone, but I want to help you.”  
“Well, I guess I can start from the beginning…” So I began where my story did. I told him about growing up in a nice town, average family, one sister. My parents had a nice marriage, which was sometimes a rarity, so that was always nice. I told him about my friends and everything I used to do. Then I talked about college, studying writing, something I had always loved. I told him about traveling and trying to find a job last year after I graduated. It wasn’t much bit I had landed an editorial gig at a newspaper in the city. It paid the bills so I was happy. It was fun living in the city, always having something to do. It all led up to the moment where I woke up in a strange place not knowing anything apparently.  
Sam was kind; he listened as I talked about my life for a solid hour. Our stories matched up right up until the time I began college. He told me about my freshman year, a story I wish I had never heard. It was Summer; I had just gotten home from my first year. Strange things started happening in my town, which is why Sam and Dean showed up. I couldn’t really grasp the specifics, but it had something to do with a demon. Unfortunately, my family became the victims of one of these attacks. By the time they found me it was too late for everyone else. I was hurt pretty bad, so they took me back to their motel and fixed me up. I was with them a couple of days, and over that time I got pretty close with the two of them. I had nobody left really, so they sort of adopted me as their sister. I was good at research too, so that helped a little. I couldn’t do much with a knife or gun, but I could do a lot with a library and a tablet. I had been with them ever since.   
It was hard to hear that all. The weird part was that it all made sense. I had always remembered having these terrible nightmares during my college years, but I just assumed it was from all the late night TV and horror films we all watched. I was still unsure of what to believe, as the last 23 years of my life had seemingly been one way. I couldn’t accept my new fate, especially because in this new world, I had lost everything. It was strange and terrifying. But the gravity was setting in and all I could do was weep. I wept for the losses of my family, for the life I would never get back. I guess there was still hope; I could have it all again if we could just figure out what had happened. But I didn’t have hope in that moment. It was weird to trust someone as much as I did Sam. He saw me at my most vulnerable and all he did was care. He let me cry on his shoulder until dean got back.  
“Sammy, I have a lot to tell you guys. Oh gosh, what did you do to her?”  
“Dean, I didn’t do anything. Imagine waking up and finding out you have lost everything you ever cared about.”  
“I do that every day Sam. Anyway, I found out what happened, it’s not good though.”  
It was at this point I decided would be a good time to finally speak. “Thank you, Dean. I’m sorry. What’s going on?”  
“Well, one of the bad things about messing with angels is that they have a little thing called fate on their side. Somehow in the midst of the fighting you triggered something. You triggered a sort of veil to be put over your mind. Basically Fate blocked out everything that happened after the… incident, and replaced it with what your life would have been if things had gone differently that night.”  
“So you’re saying that the past five years of my life has been nothing but a dream basically?”  
“I mean, that’s one way of saying it, yeah.”  
“What, what do I do? How do I fix it?”  
“That’s the bad part about this; nobody has ever been able to fix it. Once it happens it kind of is there to stay.”  
“So I’m going to be like this forever?! No. I refuse to accept that. This isn’t fair. I can’t… I can’t breathe.” The room was spinning. I couldn’t live like this. I couldn’t live in this terrible world knowing how it could have been different. I barely knew these people. And yeah, I had a certain connection with Sam, but he was still a stranger. I needed air. Come to think of it, I hadn’t even left the room all day. Without saying anything else I went to the bathroom, where I luckily found my suitcase, changed into some decent clothes and left. The boys tried to plead with me but I needed some space. I needed time to think about this. I needed to breathe again.   
I found myself at some rundown bar down the street, after a nice long walk. If any moment called for a drink it was this one. I got an ice cold beer and sat, watching everyone else have fun. It wasn’t that late, maybe 8, so the crowd wasn’t super wild yet. I wondered if they would come looking for me. Or where I would sleep tonight. Shit. I was kind of screwed. So I did what any rational person would do. I ordered a shot. It was certainly not a beer night for me. I was getting drunk. Before I knew it the alcohol had gone fully to my head. Alone at a bar, drunk, brought back some great memories from college. The guy a couple seats down wasn’t so bad, while I was making poor decisions anyway… I wanted to dance and he was a more than willing partner. After some shameless flirting and maybe a little, or more than a little, dance floor kissing, we made our way out of the bar. I had to stay somewhere. Not my proudest moment, but I had basically stopped caring.   
Before I had the chance to do anything too monumentally stupid though, I felt an arm being placed around my shoulders. I looked up to see the same clear green eyes that had broken the news to me earlier.   
“Hey, Dan, I don’t want you here. I’m busy.”   
“It’s Dean, which I will forgive this once because technically we did just meet, but Y/N, I really need you to come back with me. Sam and I have been worried sick.”  
“Dean, listen, I want to go home with this man. Is it stupid? Yep. You bet. Do I care? No. I stopped caring about my life the second I walked out that door. I don’t even know what my life is.”  
“Just come back with me. Please. You don’t even know this guy. We will figure it out. Please Y/N, just don’t do this.”   
“I think she said she wanted to come back with me, asshole.” Dean thought it a good idea pull out a knife at that point, which scared John Doe off very effectively. By this time I was pissed. And drunk, which did not make my argument come across very well at all.  
“Hey! That was my boy. You can’t control my life. You aren’t my brother, or anything, everyone who can tell me what to do is apparently dead now. Which means I can do whatever the hell I want. And I want him. But you scared him you… you…. You. Now I really have nothing.” And let the drunken tears commence.  
“It’s ok.” Dean embraced me. “It will be okay, please just come back with me. Sam and I will take care of you. I promise.” Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe I just really didn’t want to have to sleep on the streets but I eventually conceded. I passed out pretty much right away, but not a=before I heard Sam utter a few words to Dean before I drifted off to sleep. He said, “It hurts so much to see her like this again.”

I hoped it was all a dream. I hoped I was living some horrible alcohol induced nightmare, but I woke up, feeling like death itself, in the same motel room I thought I had made up. Another day of this, and a hangover to top it off. I had a lot of regrets from last night, and while Dean would never hear it, I was glad he came for me. I owed him a lot.   
“Rise and shine. We are going back to the bunker.” Yeah, I owed Dean a lot, he did not look to happy with me this morning.  
“The what? Where are we going?”  
“Home. We are going home, basically.”  
“Where is Sam?”  
“He’s checking out of the hotel. Hurry and pack we need to go.”  
“Listen, I’m really sorry. I was stupid yesterday, and it wasn’t fair of me to put any of that on you. And you shouldn’t have had to deal with that last night. It’s no excuse, but I was just really… shocked yesterday. I went to a bad place. And I’m sorry. Thank you though. For being there. you have no idea how much that meant to me.”  
“Just… don’t be stupid. I can’t lose you.” Dean gave me the kind of hug only someone who really cared would give. This would all be a little easier. I packed up the few things I had (to be honest I didn’t really know what I had anyway) and we hopped in the car. We drove for three hours before finally ending up at what I assumed was the bunker. Once we got inside it was actually really nice. I even had my own room.   
“Alright, time to get to the research. Dean, would you mind grabbing some books for me? I’m going to go grab some coffee. Y/N, you stay here.”  
“Sam, thank you. I really appreciate this. Just, thanks.”  
He gave me a weak smile before saying. “Anything for you.” While they did research, I decided to do a little exploring. The bunker was awesome with a ton of cool hidden compartments and secret doors. I came across a room that looked very foreboding, but curiosity got the best of me. What I did not expect to find was a bad chained to the table. It made me a little worried for what kind of people I was dealing with.  
“Oh my god! What are they doing to you?”  
“God has nothing to do with this, sweetheart. Don’t act o surprised, it’s not like this is your first time down here.”  
“Who are you?”  
“Aw you already forgot about me? Now here I thought we were friends.”  
“I’m sorry; I don’t really know who you are. Hell, I barely know who I am anymore.”  
“Well then, the name is Crowley. What happened to you, love?”  
“I guess I had a little run in with fate, changed my memories a little. Now we’re just trying to get me back to how I was, or something.”  
“Ah, restoring the memories. Not so hard to do if you know what I know.”  
“Are you saying you can fix this? You can help me?”  
“You don’t become the King of Hell by being ordinary, love.”  
“King of Hell? You’re saying hell is real?” that explained why they had him locked up.  
“Oh you have no idea. Now I’ll help you but I need something from you.”  
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Sam and Dean don’t even know I’m here.”  
“Come on. You can trust me. I’ve always liked you. You have a joie de vivre to you that I really quite enjoy. Feisty.”  
“Thanks? I really should talk to them about this though. I really shouldn’t be here.”  
“My offer doesn’t stand forever. You better figure it out quick.”  
“You didn’t even tell me what you want from me in return anyway.”  
“Well it’s simple. You have blood. I need some of it. We will just make a little trade and bam. You have your memory back.”  
“My blood? What do you need my blood for? If this is some weird ritual thing then I am definitely not going to help you summon some other demon.”  
“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N. You think so low of me. Just trust me. Don’t you want to remember?” I did. I really did. If I couldn’t get my old life back I at least wanted to remember this one. Sam and Dean would probably be pissed for me even being down here let alone making a deal with some demon. But my blood. That was a weird request. I had seen enough horror films to know what when someone used blood it was never for good reasons.   
“How long do I have to decide?”  
“I’ll give you a couple of hours. Time is ticking.”   
“Okay. Okay. Just give me that time.” I walked out the doors hoping I would not run into Sam or Dean. Thankfully I found them right where I left them. I wanted to ask them questions about this Crowley guy, but I didn’t want to raise suspicion. Maybe I could get them to bring it up. As far as they knew I was as clueless as any ordinary person, but my time was running out. I was desperate to get something back, and this may be my only shot.   
“Hey guys. Um… how is the research going?”  
“We’re doing our best. We really are. I’m sorry.”  
“It’s not your fault any of this is happening Sam. We will figure it out. So how real are all those horror movies I’ve been watching about demons and stuff?”  
“Sister, those are all junk if you ask me. The real world is a lot less kind.”  
“Well then Dean, why don’t you tell me what the real world is like. What are demons really all about?” I crossed my fingers and hoped this would work. I just had to ask the right questions. Thankfully I had a little practice with this back in my college days. Some people were not as ready to reveal their secrets, well, before I got to them.  
“Well, they look like normal people. You can’t always tell right away. But when their eyes go black and you see their real soul, they become ruthless killers. Only one way to contain them is drawing a symbol on the ground. If they are really tricky there are more precautions you could take.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Extra security. Like demon handcuffs, extra spells. Things like that.” So that explains how they were keeping Crowley at bay. If I could just push a little more.   
“And you guys do this a lot. Lock demons up?”  
“When we have to.”  
“Where do you put them, once they are locked up and everything?” I could see Sam and Dean exchange looks. This was it. I knew what they were hiding, but they didn’t know that. I couldn’t let this moment slip through my fingers. “What? Is there something you aren’t telling me?”  
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not important.” I think keeping a demon locked up in the same building where I sleep is pretty important.   
“Dean just means that there’s nothing going on. Everything is great.”  
“Alright . That totally looked like nothing. If there is something going on I think I have the right to know. Especially considering that I know absolutely nothing about who I am anyway.”  
“Okay. Calm down. We were just thinking about this demon. Crowley.” There it was. I was on the right track. “We had to restrain him for a while. We needed him, but since he was so powerful he needed a little extra… security.”  
“Oh. I see. Well what’s his deal then? Why did you need him?”  
“Long story short we were trying to make him human again. But now he’s just a junkie who tried to get hits of human blood when he can to feel something again.”  
“Oh, that’s not so bad I guess. What does this human blood do to him?” They played right into my hands. I was better at this than I thought I was. I guess in this life I was good at investigating.   
“It’s hard to say. They bring him closer to being human. They make him feel humanity again for once in his demon life.”  
“Isn’t that a good thing?”  
“We don’t really know too much about it. It hasn’t been bad so far, but it’s not like we have been giving him an IV of blood or anything. But it doesn’t matter. He’s not important anymore.” Oh how wrong they were. He was very important. And if that’s all he wanted my blood for he could have it. I didn’t really care if he felt human again. It seemed like that would be a good thing to me, but I didn’t really know much. But if he just wanted some of my blood, then I was getting my memory back. I just needed to find a way to do it without the boys noticing. if I had known them better I would have felt bad about deceiving them, so I guess it was good I didn’t remember the life we all had before. But I would soon.   
I carried on like nothing was going on. We chatted about what they found, which was nothing. They told me little stories about things we had done. I could tell they were being careful. They didn’t want to reveal too much. To them I was still fragile. My time was getting shorter though. I needed to get them out of there if I could. I felt bad taking advantage of the fact that I knew they cared, but a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do.  
“Sam, I’m starving.”  
“Now that you mention it I’m a little hungry too. What do you want, we can go wherever.”  
“Some sort of Chinese or Japanese sounds amazing right now.”  
“There’s a place not too far from here. We can all go if you want.”  
“Actually, I would love to have a chance to shower and just think for a while. Maybe you guys can go and pick it up?”  
“I’m sure some time to yourself would be good. This will all be better soon. Come on Dean. Y/N, we will be back soon. Call me if you need anything at all.” His sweetness made me feel terrible for what I was doing. To be fair I was hungry, and I did need some time alone, with Crowley at least. It would all pay off once I was back to normal. I wouldn’t be so useless.   
“Thank you guys. I’m so sorry.” They told me it was all fine, but they had no idea what I was really apologizing for. But they did leave. And I knew what I had to do.

Crowley was still right where I had left him. Not that he really had a choice.   
“I see someone has made a decision.”  
“Yes. I’ll do it. I get it. I understand why you need my blood. We need each other. Just please don’t like murder me or turn me into a demon or something. For a demon you aren’t so bad and I’d like to keep it that way.”  
“Well for a hunter I don’t feel a strong desire to send you to hell.”  
“Thank you, I think.”  
“Trust me, it’s a compliment. Now you are going to need a couple of things.” He gave me a short list of items and I set off to find them. Thankfully the place was pretty well organized so it only took me about twenty minutes to find it all. I got back and we started the process. I told him I wouldn’t give him anything till he helped me. We decided that I was a little more trustworthy than a demon. For whatever reason I had a feeling he would have helped me even if I gave him what he wanted first.   
He laid out everything I had brought, which included a bowl, a syringe, something from the life I wanted to remember (some hairs from my brush), and matches. We put my hairs in the bowl. He then gave me the syringe and told me to extract some of my blood. I won’t go into the specifics; I don’t do well with blood. After I filled the syringe, he put a few drops on the hairs. He left the rest for himself. After that, he threw a lit match in the mix and spoke a few words of Latin.  
“You won’t feel anything until after you wake up. But it will work. You will remember. Just be careful. It might be painful to remember so much at once. You will remember the good, but you will also remember all the pain.”   
“Thank you. You have no idea what this means to me. I’ll come back. This might sound weird since you’re a demon and all, but I kind of like you. Also someone is going to need to dispose of that before Sam and Dean find it.”  
“Good thinking. I hope it all turns out alright for you.” It was strange that I felt more attachment to this demon than I did to either one of those boys. I felt a connection with them, but I just didn’t feel like they understood me. Crowley got it. He knew what it felt like to be in my shoes, in whatever weird twisted way he did.   
I had to act quickly though. I ran to my room to shower and throw on clean clothes before they got back. It had to be believable. I showered and changed into a fresh pair of sweats and a long sleeved shirt. I didn’t want them to notice the fresh needle wound in the crook of my arm. I didn’t want them asking any questions. After I showered I read until they got back, which was not very long. I had really cut it close. Everything seemed relatively normal while we ate. We made small talk and casual conversation. I didn’t have much to contribute as the life I remembered wasn’t even mine. After we ate and cleaned up, I retired to my room to read. To be honest I just wanted to be away from them. I didn’t want to have to hide what I had done. They couldn’t know. I also just wanted to fall asleep so I could remember. There were things I wasn’t eager to remember, like losing everyone, or nearly dying, but I wanted to know who I was. After tossing and turning for hours, I drifted to sleep.  
The nightmares were terrible. There was blood. Pain. I could physically feel it through the sleeping. I could feel myself crying. I could feel everything. But I couldn’t wake up. The beginning was the worst. Losing everyone all over again. I couldn’t handle it. From time to time, something good was filter in. I enjoyed those moments. There was a lot of Dean. We joked around; there was a lot of laughing. He was like a brother to me. But then the nightmares would come back. Monsters. Demons. I could see what was so terrible about these angels. Except Cas. The glimpses I got of him were nice, well some were. The more recent ones were better. But the good could never quite overshadow the bad. People kept dying. People I cared about. Some would come back, but never permanently. Then I saw Sam. At first I thought we were like Dean and I. That’s how it started at least. But then other things filtered in. We were so much more. I could feel things I never felt before. Good things. The bad was put on hold for just a second longer. I was still tormented by terrible things, heartache; I didn’t think I could do it anymore. I just wanted it to end. I wanted it all to be over. It went on for what felt like days. For all I knew it was days. How long did it take to relive every moment in the last five years? I would wake up eventually right? Thankfully it all came crashing to an end. I was becoming lucid. Was I screaming or was that a dream? I could feel my eyes opening and I could feel myself coming out of the haze.   
I shot up in my bed. Tears were streaming down my face. I couldn’t breathe. It was all crushing me in a world of pain I had never felt before. But I remembered. It had worked. I felt a small sense of relief. I felt like I had lost everything all over again, but I gained so much too. I had a family. And I had Sam. It didn’t surprise me, but I felt terrible for deceiving him that way. He cared so much. I wanted him. I needed to be with him. I remembered how it felt to have his arms around me, and I needed that right now. I remembered the way to his room, a trek I had taken many nights before. I didn’t even know what time it was. I hoped he was actually there. I passed a clock on my way there. 2:54. I hadn’t been asleep long at all. Thankfully I found him where I hoped he would be.   
He woke as I approached his bed. Hunters must sleep lightly; there are too many things out there. At first he was confused but then he saw my tear drenched face.  
“Y/N. What’s wrong? What happened?” I could hear the concern in his voice. But I couldn’t respond. I couldn’t form words to describe what I felt. I just ran to him and let him hold me while I cried. He soothed me back to sleep. This one was thankfully nightmare free. When I woke up, I felt a lot better. It still hurt, but I had to accept my new life. Fortunately Sam and Dean, and even Crowley were a part of it. Sam was still sleeping when I woke up. It was good because it gave me the opportunity to talk to Crowley.  
“You were right. It was bad. It’s so hard.”  
“Are you glad you did it?”  
“Yes. I actually am. I needed to remember. And not everything was bad. Thank you. You have no idea what you gave me.”  
“I’m glad to hear that bit. We helped each other.”  
“True.” I didn’t want to stay long; I didn’t want Sam to wonder where I was. As I slipped back in beside him, I could tell he was waking up. I had no idea how much I had missed this. I was so lucky to have him.   
“Sam?”  
“Hey, are you okay?”  
“I am now. Well, relatively.”  
“What happened? Tell me why you were so upset.”  
“I remembered.” This really woke him up.  
“What? What did you remember?”  
“Everything. I remembered everything Sam. I remembered that night years ago, I remembered every demon we ever fought, I remembered you.” I could see the concern he had for me. He didn’t want me hurting. But I could also see relief, happiness. I wasn’t the only one who lost something, he had lost me. It wasn’t for long, but I can’t imagine how I would feel if the tables were turned.   
“It’s going to be okay. I promise. You will always have me.”  
“I know. I’m here to stay this time.” I gave him a small smile before kissing him for the first time since I forgot who I was. It was almost like it happening for the first time all over again. I had no idea how long it would hurt for. Probably forever, but I knew it would get better. And I had something that made it all worth it. I had a family here and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.


End file.
